“Ow!” Tiberius winced as Sariel poked and prodded at his injuries, giving him a concerned look.

“What happened to do no harm?”

“That only applies when the patient has the sense to avoid injuries, not leap into them with arms wide open.” Doctor Venrith said dryly as she waved a tricorder and continued taking scans.

“Hey, you should see the other guy.”

“There’s more than one?” She asked, glancing around.

“It was on the holodeck.” Commander Kael said.

Doctor Venrith frowned. Clearly, she didn’t approve. She gave him a hypo for the pain and began working on the worst of the injuries.

“Fractured ribs, deep muscle contusions, and a terrible laceration on your skull. You’re either incredibly lucky, or idiotic to have disabled the safeties running the program you did.” There was a pause. “Sir.”

“Probably a bit of both, my father would say.”

“I suspect there’s some accuracy to that assessment. I can’t say it’s a good use of your time or our resources.”

Tib nodded. “Yeah. Just working through some things.”

Sariel frowned. “Well, either do it better, or less violently.”

“Now, where’s the fun in that?”

Sariel poked his ribs, which were still tender even through the sedative. “I don’t know. You tell me.”

He winced and chuckled, taking her point. “Bedside manner could really use some massaging here, Doc.”

“I’m going to have to submit a record of this in your file, Tiberius. I can’t just let this slide.” Sariel said.

He nodded. “I know. And that’s fine.”

Sariel studied him a moment before nodding and resuming her work. “You gave this some thought before doing it then.”

“Yep.”

“Then you realize this wasn’t a wise call?”

“Yep.”

Sariel gave him a stern look. “Tiberius. I’ve known you for a while. You’re not prone to rash or foolish actions. So I trust you did what you did because you thought it through. But it was still risky. You’re lucky this is the worst you walked out with. But I’m more concerned about the why.”

“That’s for my counselor to worry about. I just need my ribs patched.”

Commander Kael looked between them, her brows knitting. She looked like she was trying to piece together something unstated.

“Light duty for a few weeks. The worst of it is fixed. But you could refracture them pretty easily if you push it too hard. Also, I’m placing a requirement that you speak with your counselor before I’m willing to give approval to take the chair again. Now go.”

Sariel gave him a stern look as she waved him off. Tiberius nodded and pushed himself up gingerly as he strode out of the sickbay. Lorena followed close behind him.

“You didn’t even protest.” Kael said as the sickbay doors hissed shut behind them.

“No, I did not.”

“Why not? The only reason I can think of you wouldn’t protest is because you knew she’d order that. Which means you’d either thought this through this far, or wanted to.”

“Or maybe a little of both?”

Lorena gave him a concerned look. “Sometimes, right when I think I’ve got you figured out, you do something like this.”

“Is that fear or admiration I’m detecting?”

“Maybe a little of both?”

They both shared a subdued laugh. Tiberius winced. He peeled off at Counselor Alaric’s office. “This is me. The bridge is yours.”

“You’re sure?”

“Yeah. We’re out in the middle of nowhere mining raw materials for all the various projects going on. Just don’t get too cozy. I’m coming back for my chair.”

Lorena nodded, a ghost of a smirk on her lips. “I’ll keep it warm for you then.”

“I’ll hold you to that.”

He watched as his XO walked around the bend in the corridor, disappearing from view. Then he straightened his uniform jacket and turned to chime into the office. The doors hissed open, and he strode in.

“Have a seat, Captain. It sounds like we’ve got some new things to discuss.”

Tib settled down across from the counselor. She picked up a stylus and held a datapad lightly. “So. Aside from the obvious holodeck antics, tell me about life since our last session?”

“A challenge. But not an unwelcome one. We’re on a full sector patrol route. We encountered a temporal anamoly. Which was about as routine as one of those can get. We didn’t stay too long as we have too much ground to cover, but my little brother made some fascinating discoveries. We’ve cordoned off the area because it’s too dangerous. And I hope we can track down whoever created the damned thing.”

“What did Danny find?”

“Well, he figured out the anomaly has a unique quantum state to it. You can make memories normally while you’re in it. But the instant you leave, the quantum chonotons within it degrade, and your memory reverts to the state it was prior to entering the field.”

Nyssa smiled as she scribbled some notes onto her pad. “I bet Danny is having fun chewing on the calculations and data for that.”

“He is. In so far as he’s able to work. Our labs aren’t the most robust, but he’d having fun with what he can. I haven’t seen him so driven since I fished him out of Daystrom.”

“Do you still regret having done that?”

“What? Pull him out of Daystrom? No. I did for a little bit. I think because I was worried he’d be bored, or uninterested in work out of the institute. But I think even Danno knew. He’s been more engaged in his work on the ship lately though, so that’s been nice to see.”

Nyssa nodded, taking some more notes.

“Let’s talk about today now. What happened?”

Tib chuckled nervously. “Cutting through the small talk fast today. Well, as you’re aware I’ve been… carrying some things ever since we lost our last ship. I’ve had doubts. Questions unanswered.”

“You questioned whether you did the right thing?”

Tib swallowed hard and nodded. “Yeah.”

Nyssa waited, “And what did you find out?”

“Staying and fighting would have been a gross tactical error that would have cost us a lot, if not everything.”

Nyssa jotted down some more notes with her stylus. “Essentially confirming your initial tactical assessement and decisions.”

“Yeah.”

“And how do you feel in the wake of that?”

He didn’t answer initially. Pausing to collect his words, he finally nodded. “Better. No more doubts. A loss like that? It changes you. I’d never really prepared for that. I mean, you think you are, until you’re in that situation. But you can never really know. If that makes sense?”

Nyssa nodded. “You’re a thorough man and you dislike being uncertain about something. This isn’t the first time you’ve got back to reassess a situation from different angles.”

“No. No it’s not. But it’s educational to play things out.”

Nyssa nodded. “It can be. When done correctly.”

He frowned. “I realize taking the safeties off line was probably too far.”

“While I appreciate the desire to seek resolutions, there are concerns to be had when it stems from reckless behavior. You’ve often vocalized that you feel like you and your father are worlds apart, however in this regard I can see some familial connections between yourself and your father. I’m going to give you a pass this once. And only this once. If I see a report from Dr. Sariel or sickbay one more time with a report of behavior like this I’m pulling you off duty for a week of supervised recovery. Clear?”

He blinked. She kind of reminded him of his mom after she’d found out he’d done something she wasn’t happy about. He was young once. It happened.

“Crystal.” He capitulated.

“Good. Now I would advise you follow the good doctor’s advise and take it easy on those injuries. I think we can call this a positive session for now.”

He gave a short nod and stood, moving for the door. She called out to him, causing him to stop as the doors hissed open at his approach.

“Oh and Captain?”

“Yeah?”

“Did you make them pay?”

He smiled sadly and nodded. “As much as I could.”

She gave him a sharp nod. “It’s not the same as the real thing, though, is it?”

“No. But close enough to count, I think.”

“To the mind? That’s all that matters. Get some rest, captain.”

He left her office and strode back to the lift. The soreness in his ribs flared back up gently. And his forehead tingled from the dermal regeneration treatment. When the lift doors shut, he let his guard down, leaning against the back of the car and sighing. That went a lot better than it could have. He got the feeling she was letting him off easily. Had it been anyone else, he easily could have been facing much worse.

The revelation that he had more in common with his old man than he’d thought came as a surprise. He made a mental note to message his pops about breaking rules and reckless actions sometime. A thing he’d apparently earned a reputation for. How bad could he have been for everyone to know that, though? Questions for later.

The rest of his evening passed in a blur as he shuffled back to his room and got ready for sleep. His XO had the bridge in her capable hands. So that meant he didn’t need to worry. He could just sleep. He could sleep. But he didn’t.

With a weary sigh, he rolled over and snatched his journal off the nearby end table. Turning the lamp on, he started taking notes with a stylus. All of his observations and how the scenario had played out. He wanted to catch it all while it was mostly fresh in his mind. The tactical breakdown he could glean would be enlightening alone.

When he finally finished, he realized he’d burned 2/3’s of the night on taking notes. Now that his eyelids were heavier and his thoughts were slower, he finally felt ready to rest. Setting aside the padd and turning off the lamp again, he lay back, watching the stars.

There was always something peaceful and reassuring about seeing them. Like no matter what, he was home as long as he was in the stars. He wondered if his old man had felt that way, too. He was one of just a few people this far out. And despite that, he never felt alone. He had his crew. And it was his job to look out for them. Even if it meant getting a stern lecture, or a few bruises. In the end? It was worth it if it meant he was better prepared to make sure a threat like that never happened again.

Some might not see it that way. But that was the one thing he’d taken to heart from his father. At least from his perspective, anyway. Your crew is your family, and you always take care of them. Failing to do so felt… wrong. And he wasn’t able to shake that feeling until he figured out that he didn’t actually fail them.

What was it Picard was quoted as saying once? It is still possible to do everything right and still lose. That rung true with him now more than ever. While he didn’t like losing and felt like that situation had sucked more than it should have, he was okay with it in retrospect now. He’d followed every possible branching decision out to its finality.

He had clarity now. Hindsight. And it was in fact 20/20.